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+---- Thread: Pointless Advice (/showthread.php?tid=3049)
Pointless Advice - Odin Online - 08-17-2013
Share some advice.
Iodine stains can be removed from the skin by waiting.
What advice do you have?
RE: Pointless Advice - .Lb - 08-17-2013
Most windows errors can be solved by rebooting the machine.
RE: Pointless Advice - bmanrules - 08-17-2013
(08-17-2013, 04:24 PM).Lb Wrote: Most windows errors can be solved by rebooting the machine.
Living is the #1 cause of death in the world.
RE: Pointless Advice - Flatcher - 08-17-2013
1: Dude, i'm gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks fcking pathetic and digusting compared to my post. and I'm being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont post sht that was perviously in cans. you're a fuking joke dude, and im dead fuking serious. gert areal family that makes good posts, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good fuking time, and has a milliondollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont eever potst on these forums ever the fuk again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, fuking phaggot.
2: Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know. pussy
3: u are 1 fukin cheeky kunt mate i swear i am goin 2 wreck u i swear on my mums life and i no u are scared lil bitch gettin your mates to send me messages saying dont meet up coz u r sum big bastard with muscles lol fukin sad mate really sad jus shows what a scared lil gay boy u are and whats all this crap ur mates sendin me about sum bodybuildin website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil fukin gay boy fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer.
4: I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. sad.
6:Hey ***gots,
My name is John, and I hate you. You are a fat, retarded, no-life who spends every second of his day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; **** was SO cash). You a ***got who should just kill yourself. Thanks for listening.
7:P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, EDLINoid, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dyspeptic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and Generally Not Good.
8:Awesome pics. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation.
9:Sometimes when I poop, I use the shaping attachment from my old Play Doh fun set. I place it on my anus, and make poops in different shapes. There's nothing strange about that at all. I'm an American, living in America, and if I want to have poops shaped like stars, I have every right to. The founding fathers would have wanted it that way.
10: Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say anything else - word one - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this fear engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming - as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin.
I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.
11: Oh heavenly blessed beauty, whose inner beauty is simply diving and everlasting, I would love to be your knight in shining armor. If you want to talk to a good friend, honest, sweet and tender, you can do with me at any moment, I am a good person, kind, loyal and sincere. My friendship that I offer you is clean and transparent. I congratulate to you, because you are very beautiful, your beauty, your charming figure, your pleasant and angelical smile, your personality, your happiness, your charm, your kindness, your beautiful eyes, your lips soft and exquisite, delicate your hands, your legs precious Your beautiful, spectacular and divine body, you have all these qualities and more, you are a wonderful and perfect woman, your gaze is tender and sweet, penetrating my soul. The beauty of a rose has no comparison with the sweetness of your face and the beauty of your heart. I am of the people, I like to have a good relationship with all my friends.
12: Some background on me, I was born in the remote village of habibi in the outskirts of djibouti to an albanian prostitute where i was raised by an ascetic monk in the azerbaijan mountains before moving to croatia at the age of 5. at the age of 15 I was conscripted into the croatian military where I served as a janitorial technician in iran. After moving to florida at 19, I followed my mothers footsteps and roamed the streets as a prostitute, selling blowjobs for 5 bucks.After a brief stint in rehab, i turned my life around and became a personal trainer. In the past several years I've hunted with the indigenous tribes of sri lanka, found 3 previously unknown star clusters with nothing more than my grandmothers magnifying glass, some ducktape and tinfoil and and have had a statue erected in honor of me in Uzbekistan for peace negotiatians with the native titthibhalad tribe. How about you?
13: I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.I found tonight that it is more successful to progressively humm it louder as you perform the ritual.
14: O.K. this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little
monkey or some dancing chimp bull****, I mean a ****ing orangutan.
Don't ask me how you're gonna get a ****ing orangutan, that's not my
problem. So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotianable, all
orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the
world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're
seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in
big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say
something witty you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It
gets back to her. "Did you know the guy with the orangutan?", "You used
to date the guy with the orangutan?", "Why would you break up with a guy
with an orangutan?" Next thing you know she's calling.
"I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime." "Geez I
dunno, me and Clyde were going to go to a monster truck race tonight.
(orangutans love monster trucks) In fact the whole social calender seems
kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name
again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in." "Oh, well you know my number so
don't be a stra-" "Hey look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making
Mojitos'."
At this point the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the
wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide.
Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly phase
her back in. You're IM'ng. You're talking on Live. You get invited to
family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family.
You're one big Brady Bunch.
Then the orangutan ****s her mother.
15: Have you acquired the knowledge thus far that there are people who suffer from conditions
beyond their control, and are naturally in that state? My aunty, for instance, happens to
be a person of that nature. She is a crane operator that has bad joints and a bad spine
from operating the crane but you probably lack empathy for that case also. I do not fall
under this category as I am 6'5, 300lbs and every day I make an effort to stimulate
myofibrillar hypertrophy by inducing skeletal muscle mircotrauma. I would be most
enthusiastic about you saying such a thing of unkind nature to my aunty in the vicinity
of my physical presence. This has a low probability of coming to pass however as you are
courageous only when your words first travel through an electronic medium to a public
display forum. My belief is not strong that you would vocalise these insults when there
is little spatial distance between yourself and that person. That is my thought process.
I would like to know yours. Oh I do offer my apologies as you lack a frontal lobe with
the necessary neurons and synapses which are prerequisites for a sentient being. I
myself, however, would be most happy to book you in for a three day cruise to travel to
my location and visualise yourself making such taunts to a person of my acquaintance with the removal of an electronic discussion
medium.
16: I think that unicorns are alpha. It's a f*cking horse with a f*cking horn growing out of its f*cking head! The only way they could be anymore alpha is if they came equipped with Stinger missles on the side. Then you could ride them over to your ex girlfriends house and blow that **** up. If anyone in her family survives, you could spear them with the horn as they crawl out of the rubble and try to run. Then, you could parade around the neighborhood with her grandma's lifeless body on the end of the horn, and proclaim your alphaness, as you watch her neighbors tremble in fear. Then you would be the Unicorn King, and children would sing songs of your adventures for generations to come. Armies would paint murals in your honor with the blood of their vanquished enemies. Man, that would be rad!
17: No offense bro but you are the ugliest mother****er I have ever seen. If I didn't know any better I'd assume your mom was a titty waitress at hooters, got pregnant, was fired for her slump in appearance, then couldn't afford an abortion so she had the local kids try and whack her bulging fetus like a piñata. Only you survived and that's how you ended up with such a disfigured face. Either that or you got baptized with scolding hot coffee. I bet if a blind kid felt your face he'd be asking why there's a pizza on this camels ass. ****s disgusting bro get it sorted or at least wear a bucket over your head or something. peace
18: you people are the most contradictory, immature, disease infected sons of bitches ive never met in my entire life. with the exception of a few, i would never do anything to help you. if you were dying of thirst i would spit in your mouth and bitch-slap you. if you needed a ride, id hit you with my car, back up and do it again. if you needed directions, id send you straight to hell. if you were held hostage, id call in SEAL team 6, fast rope from a Blackhawk just to tell you "no, i dont know that feel bro", then go back in the chopper and go home to sleep soundly to the thoughts of your beheading and subsequent video posting on liveleak. if you were fighting 1k Agent Smiths, id get some popcorn and enjoy your beatdown. if you had a headache, id carve our your eyeballs with a rusty spoon and skull-fuk you while saying singing the cupcake song.
19: Did you know that what you are talking about is limited by your false sense of reality? Maybe if you studied just a little bit harder while in school you wouldn't be blinded by these fallacies that have cast a cloud over your judgment. I once knew a guy like you who had everything he could ever want but in the end it meant nothing, because he never knew his true place in the grand scheme of things. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life but, honestly buddy I think it's time you stepped down off of your high horse and looked life square in the eyes
20: Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 07840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
21: The problem is you're focusing on the things in life that don't really matter. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face. I think the next time you should ask yourself "Am I on the right track here?". I don't mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have and take advantage of the knowledge I have given you now. Good luck.
22: they served turkey there you ugly piece of ****
I said i had ****ing turkey too. What ****ing part of that does your scrotum-sized cranium not comprehend? Just cause i had turkey doesn't mean that was the only ****ing thing i had. Holy ****ing **** if i ever saw you irl i would absolutely break your ****ing knee caps like holy **** bro you have no clue how much ****ing pain i would give you.
not everyone can afford a ****ing dining room you stupid little bitch. next time you talk ****, ill rip your ****ing face off. you think im playin ***got? go ahead, try me. cant talk **** if every shred of skin is permanently removed from your ****ing skull.
23: I usually go to the bathroom and use the stall
for disabled people. Put some paper towels on
the ground and do some push-ups. Then do
some isometric exercises like push against the
wall. Also put your hands on the toilet seat and
do some dips. When you come out of the
bathroom try and keep pumped by staying
active and flexing your muscles every once in a
while, covertly.
Good luck
24: Calm down little guy, first thing first. As far as I can remember, as I child I was always fat and chubby. I blame it on my mother really, she always fed me high calories food. I remember one day I came home from playing with the the neighborhood kids and that changed my life forever. Now before I tell you about this life changing experience, you have to understand one thing, we were very poor. How was I so fat from high calories food you ask? Well simple really. Mother would often feed me rendered pork fat with white bread. We used rendered pork fat like butter, slap on, slap off. Me being a fat boy, I would often spread pork fat over everything I ate. Rice, beans, potatoes, crackers, apples, bananas, oranges, bacon, ect...you named it. So as you can see, my love for pork fat was truly unconditional. Matter of fact, I would often used pork fat as lubrication to get one off. Like I said, we were very poor, lotion was something we couldn't afford. Now back to my life changing experience. I can vividly remember that exact moment, I came home and mother told me to sit on the chair. She didn't not give the reason, except for the fact that she had tears running down on her face. She told me that my uncle was killed by a bus. He was drunk and walked into an intersection and was ran over. That moment will forever haunt me, I still get the goose bump as I type this. So please, remember, love your family and friends. Whenever you live the house, please kiss your love ones. It might be the last time you ever see them again.
25: Guys this is probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I was at my girlfriends house tonight for dinner, and shortly after i had to go #2. My Gf's brother was in the downstairs bathroom, so i went upstairs to use the master bathroom. I was about to take a dump, and I remembered something my friend told me called AC Slatering. AC Slatering is when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, just how on saved by the bell AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair. So when I was taking a dump, My stomach was facing the back of the toilet, and my back was facing the door. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and began to get nervous. Since AC SLatering is a tough position to get into, it requires taking off your pants. So there I am sitting in my GF's parents bathroom taking a dump with my pants off and facing the wrong way on the toilet. My dump was about halfway out when the footsteps became closer. I then turned around to see that I had not locked the door. Trying to finish as quickly as I could, I began pushing harder and harder. Suddenly, the door opened, and my gf's mom stood there in shock staring at me. We made eye contact for a split second, and I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. I quickly finished up, got dressed, and ran out of the house as quickly as I could. I am expecting my gf to break up with me tomorrow. I am so embarrassed and I hope my gf doesn't blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.
26: I have relatives from not so far back that were Nimibian tribesman. They happen to have fought lions just to become warriors. I don't know what you know about lions but they aren't like your average cat. I bet you would absolutely **** yourself if you ever saw a real life lion, especially if you were only holding a sharpened stick and you were naked. Come talk to me when some of your family members have gone on the Zambutu bibjano; A.K.A. the trial of life. Until you have done half the **** that they have maybe you shouldn't even talk to me like this. I know you think you're hard and **** but guess what pal, you aren't. Now go grow some Namibian genes and we'll talk about this **** for real.
27: K for your information, I have seen a lion. And not one of your crap ass queen of the jungle homoerotic pussy-cat lions. A real lion, with fangs and horns and wings and ****. Don't pull your ****ing wierd ass african voodoo hypnosis crap on me when you don't even know wtf you're talking about.
28: On a cold Friday afternoon, I had come home from school. I had been thinking of the gym all day. I was hungry, didn't have any lunch. In fact, I didn't eat because I spent the money. For the past month I was saving up for something. Something special which I bought at GNC. I was surprised they didn't ask for ID; I was pretty sure the cashier noticed how nervous I was. Anyways, my mom asked my how my day was when I got home, but I ignored her. I have more important things to do. I run to the bathroom and unpack my bag. In my school bag is a white plastic bag from GNC. I open the bag, first removing the receipt and flushing it down the toilet to get rid of the evidence. My heart was racing now. I unpack the creatine monster from the bag. I wonder what people will be asking me when they see that I will be 50lbs heavier. Should I say I was just eating a lot? I remove the label from the tub and tear it into a thousand small pieces. I flush that down the toilet, too. It is time now. I run up to my room when my mom ask me what I am holding. I panic, sweat drips down my forehead and my teeth chatter. "Mom, it's just for a school project". "What project?" "I don't know mom I just started it!". A tear runs down my cheek. I run upstairs and open the creatine, scooping upservings into a clear water bottle. What have I gotten myself into? I fill it with water and drink it. There is no turning back now. The creatine monster is inside me now, it will control me. What should I do if I die? I cant let my family know about this.
I open the creatine tub and throw it all out the window; a white cloud of mysterious dust sparkles into the wind so graciously. I feel the substance taking control of me; I am now the monster. I walk downstairs, its time to work out; time to get big. Now I worry, I don't want to get too big; people will think I use steroids. I do use steroids. No I don't. Creatine. All I see is the weights now, I am almost downstairs when I hear "Do you want a cookie I just baked". I know I do not have time for this **** now. "No mom I do not want a cookie" I walk in the basement and drop to my knees before the weights, tears running down my cheeks. I turn to the right and look at myself in the mirror. Oh god, what have I done?
29: You're on that phaggy time, srsly. If you don't like what the internet has come to, get your bitch ass off it and get back in the kitchen. If Mike is a douchebag, I guess the rest of Bodybuilding.com is too. You know what BB.com is full of? Successful, confident, alpha people. People who have done things you're too much of a pussy to do. And lettuce be real tea, you're the douchebag since you "know in you're heart that your amazing and beautiful". Conceited much?
Also, who gave you permission to talk amongst us men? I'd slap you with the might of 10000 viking gods for talking out of turn like that, especially infront of your alpha superiors.
30:What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
31: I just can't wait until it's a post-apocalyptic world where we have a bunch of wanderers, and I'll be one of the badass wanderers who don't make waves, but when **** gets down to the nitty gritty, I show I am not someone to be messed with. I never kill anyone but I make sure they know I have that choice. The entire time I'm trying to find the one guy that will make me clear my conscience and will enable me to live my life without guilt. He is my brother. I have an Angel Arm that can destroy entire cities in one blow. I will find my sanctuary in knowing that my brother will be dealt with, and I will have to worry no more.
32: You are a bunch of retard neanderthals who have no concept of anything that's actually meaningful in life besides your own self absorbed materialistic delusions. Bunch of ****ing dumbasses who don;t have an ounce of knowledge of how science, economy, or politics work. Yet you continue to make one idiotic thread after another. It's sad that you idiots will die without ever contributing a lick to society. You are all wannabe 4channers but you don't realize that people who post there dwarf you in terms of intellect. You are just a bunch of retards, bottom dwellers of society. Lick my taint insects.
33: You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.
34: OP that is such a good story. I really can't pick "one part" that I liked the best. But if you were to hold a gun to my head, I would go with the part with the pictures. I just got off the phone with an armored truck company. They will be arriving in the morning to pick up my back up disk, which I just saved your story on to. There probably won't be much traffic, because I forwarded the police your story, and they agreed to escort the armored truck to its destination. At first the police chief didn't want to help, but then I guided his attention to the incredible pictures that you embedded along with your story. I mean, the story was good enough. But as soon as I saw the pictures that went along with it, I called my grandmother, who is blind and has Alzheimer’s disease to tell her. As far as her doctors in the nursing home are concerned, she is cured of all her ailments now that she heard your cool story. She is actually preparing to run the Boston marathon this year now. Thank you OP.
35: Need advice on rape OP? I've done a lot of rapes and I can tell you 90% of men are turned on by it. They love to be physically and emotionally dominated by a strong man. Men almost always orgasm during rape, and some people like me who consider themselves rape connoisseurs sometimes add extra quirks to make the rape more effective. Once I took a machete with me, and with my free hand (left hand is always around man's throat) I slashed it against the dumpster next to us whilst screaming a battle cry. Who would attempt to fight me off in a state like that? Another time I wore this Legolas mask that I use when raping someone I know, so they cant identify me later. He was quite clearly aroused at the thought of being raped by Legolas and probably enjoyed it more than I did. About half way through it probably became consensual to be honest. Rape is a complicated game, you need to do a lot of reading and practice to fully understand the psychology of it.
36: I would buy Michael Moore a tuna chili curry, wait til he ****s, then fill a bucket with spitballs chewed from his used toilet paper if it meant I could lick the head of the last dog you patted.
37: I would perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on a corroded car exhaust pipe then smoke a blunt rolled with Ronald McDonald's pubic hair if it meant I could mix my post-workout protein with the milk squeezed from your saggy bovine udders.
38: I don't know about that bird shaped head of yours but daym that ass is where the moneys at. I would let Hilary Clinton and the head of the feminist union use my erect cock for a 7-round game of barbwire ringtoss if it meant I could kiss the top of that fire hydrant two days after a gingivitis suffering homeless man spat on it.
39: Well, since we are all making assumptions, how about me assuming (correctly) that you are a virgin butthurt phaggot that only came to her rescue because she is an attractive female. Also, the chances of you getting laid by said female have always been zero but now that you've displayed for us your desperate attempts to gain her appeal/approval, you might be able to get a slight friend status. MAYBE, and by maybe I mean like an asteroid hitting Earth tomorrow evening. Good luck with your virginity losing goals in 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016... 2035, 2036, 2037.
40: It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to **** her. So be it.I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferraris have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya.
Flash forward 10 minutes later, my 30 inch dick is going inside of her VAGINA, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm ****ing her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.
I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.
41: I'm not a moron all. The only reason why I moved to Utah was my dad’s job got laid off with AT&T 2 years ago. He worked with Bellsouth and AT&T for the last 16 years, the companies got bought 3 times since 1992. And he applied for a job online in Florida, he got a job with Hill Field Air Force Base as a fiber repair and telephone repair specialist. So that explains why I’m here in Utah and I’ve been here since Oct 9 2009. So I used to live 85 miles west of the Jacksonville, Florida area. I'm about 40 miles north of Salt Lake City area now.
42: I have been staring at your profile picture speechless and in awe for the past hour or so. That deep gaze in your eyes, your perfect smile, all of your features just seem to all come together so well, almost an...gelical in a sense I suppose.The reason I am writing this is to let you know that I think I have found the most beautiful woman to grace us with her presence on our planet, and I am of course talking about you.
I know this might mean absolutely nothing to you, and you probably get many of these types of messages/posts on Bodyspace and in real life BUT please understand that I am being as genuine as ever when I say that you are the ultimate dictionary definition of perfection, and I hope that one day God can bestow me with a woman as beautiful as you, I would be forever grateful.
I hope that this message finds you well, I do not care if I get a response to this, I am just simply stating the obvious and had to let you know how I really felt..
43: I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
44: All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to go Christmas shopping. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 1 through 5 for your convenience:
1.Occupied.
2.Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one.
3.Poo on seat.
4.Poo and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.
5.No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of
toilet.
Clearly, it had to be Stall #2. I trudged back, entered, dropped trousers and
sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful ****ter. I wasn't happy about being
next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot.
I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. ****ter was blathering to Mrs. ****ter about the ****ty day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier.
Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude - a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit the resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently.
Once my ass cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent:
(1) The next-door conversation had ceased
(2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come
(3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench. It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence.
"Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??"
Now there was no stopping me. I pushed for all I was worth. I could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, I was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The amount of stuff in me was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, I'd see that liquid poop had actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the floor. But for now, all I could do was hang on for the ride.
Next door I could hear him fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my anal symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up...in my mouth... not... make it... tell the kids... love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.
Alas, it is evidently difficult to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet.
There was a lull in my production, and the restroom became deathly quiet. I could envision him standing there, wondering what to do. A final anal announcement came trumpeting from my behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. I heard a flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the stall door was thrown open. I heard him running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.
As I left, I glanced into the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know.
I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has managed to transfer my Shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in the bathroom.
45:Happy Birthday Big Boy!! Remember that time we were using my moms measuring tape to measure our gains? And once we ran out of muscles to measure the only thing left was to measure our cocks? So first we did it flacid but the numbers weren't very impressive so we decided we better try it with boners. But you were shy and didn't wanna jerk it in front of me to get hard so you asked if I could do it for you?! lol and then I was still bigger so you said it was because I give ****ty hand jobs! haha anyways I cant wait to get drunk with you later and measure our dicks! Love you buddy
46:I was hoping if we hit it off on facebook I could invite you over for a nice seafood dinner. I would catch the lobsters myself, with my bare hands, from the nearest waters that inhabit them, which is the tank at the Red Lobster down the street. I would cook them for you in my kitchen...naked if you desire. Then we would indulge in the lobsters, along with any side dishes you would like, and a few glasse...s of wine from my cellar. Over dinner we could chit chat a bit, you could discover that I am more than just a gorilla juicehead bodybuilder that plays starcraft and I could discover that you are a smart, sweet heavenly blessed beauty just putting on a calloused façade. If you enjoyed my company then perhaps we could do it again. If not, then you leave with a stomach full of good food when otherwise on a night like that you would throw one of your Lean Cuisines in the microwave and watch One Tree Hill just hoping one day you could find a man like Julian.
47:I've probably already told you this, but your body is incredible. Seriously it's something most men only dream of. you have been my inspiration from the start, and will be untill the end. the fact that you managed to attain such a physique NATURALLY just shows how dedicated you are.
Seriously, everything about you is 100% beautiful. I say this with the strongest "no hono" possible too, you are ****ing gorgeous. Not just your body, your face too. Youreally lucked out with a face like that. It's like you won the facial genetics lottery. Your facial structure is just stunning. I know I'll never have facial aesthetics like you, thats something I can't change. It's just more inspiration for me, because I know thatit is immaculate in all aspects.
48:I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have the money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you, If you let me clap dem cheekz now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, and I will rape you.
49:haha it sounds kind of gay, but I'm starting to fear my own strength. I've been getting stronger and stronger every time I hit the gym, that now I have to use those heavy ass dumbells no one uses, and alot of 45 pound plates on all my barbell workouts. I dont have a gym partner so its kind of intimidating to do certain workouts alone with such heavy iron. Anyone have this little phobia? lol it wont stop me, but I'm getting really big into stretching cause the fear of injury from these workouts. It's kind of scary, lol.
50:Your eyes are too far apart. Nose is definitely crooked. The shape of your face is not aesthetically pleasing at all. You look like a 3/10 with make up in this photo. I don't even want to imagine what you look like without make up. I actually just threw up in my mouth, just thinking about it. Your head is too big (although that may be, because of your giraffe neck posture) . As for your hair, lol. Seriously, do something. You look like a horse. Stare at your face for more than 5 seconds, and you will see how ugly you are. The eyes which are too far apart is what ruins /damages an already ugly face even further. Unfortunately for you, that can't be surgically fixed, lol. You arms are way too long. lol at how they hang by your sides. Kind of reminds me of lurch. Don't even let me start on your pale complexion. It only works if you look hot. Unfortunately, you do not look hot. Its hard to sum up a creature like you in one word. 'UGLY ' would be unfair , since it doesn't reflect how repulsive you look. GROTESQUE is stretching it. But somewhere in between, is where you would be, on the scale of an average man. I'm sorry if my words seem a little harsh. Just so you know, I sugar coated this post as much as possible.
Have a nice day.
51:Hi baby girl, everything's OK, I forgive you. It's OK don't worry about it, everything's gonna be Ok. I love you, I love you so much. I love you more than there are - grains of sands, of every beach, of every planet, of every galaxy of the universe. I need you in my life, I need more than humans need water and food to survive. You mean more to me than home depot means to Mr. Logerado(??wat?). You mean more to me than, just anything. You mean more to me than gold and diamonds, to the greediest burgular. And you're just the most perfect, most beautiful girl in all of the world and I love you so much. See you at school tomorrow baby girl. I love you. I do. It's true. I love you more than anything else in the world. Bye babygirl. Stay perfect, just for me.
52:You have an aesthetic face and body. Your face is warm, and friendly. Great smile. Amazing facial structure. Your jaw line is optimal. And the width between your eyes, is model like. I'm strongly admiring your facial hair, and also your well structured teeth. You've got it all bro, the complete package. If I was a girl, you'd definitely be my type bro. I mean, the pics say it all.
Okay, in addition to all that above, I like that you're black. But you have that 'friendly' blackness in you. Does that makes sense? You're not ghetto black looking. You're more 'white friendly black' looking. But I mean this in a good way. Not like Carlton from Fresh Prince...more like Denzel, but with a better body.
Overall, I like you bro. I mean, I really like you. You've got it all bro. I'd love to see more pics, but with less clothing on. I wanna see how risky you get, and how far you'd go. Take care bro.
53:I'm getting sick and tired of listening to your ****. You keep pushing me day in and day out, and eventually you'll push me past the point of no return. I don't give a **** who you are or where you live, you can count on me to be there to bring your ****ing life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much ****ing pain that it'll make jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a ****ing back massage on a tropical island.I don't give a **** how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many ****ing guns you own to protect yourself.
I'll ****ing show up at your house when you aren't at home. I'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. I'll turn your air conditioning on high and open all the windows. I'll turn your cable box on and order 20 pay per view channels at once, and I'll pick up your phone and dial a pay-per-minute sex line in Japan.
I'm going to run your utility bills up so ****ing high that you can't pay them. You're going to start stressing the **** out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a ****ing heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when you're being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your ****ing life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery.
And when you walk out the front door of that hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my ****ing car out of nowhere and kill you.I just want you to know how easily I could ****ing destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go to a great ****ing length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing ****ing hell. It's too ****ing late to save yourself, but don't bother committing suicide either...I'll ****ing resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitchfaced ****.
Welcome to hell, population: you.
54:i hate my life. i see this pic and at first it's funny, then sad and feel bad that she's terrified. but over time i've become even more cynical, and i dont think either. i think 'that bish deserves being scared'. know why? because i don't trust anyone anymore. somewhere along her life i imagine her as cheating on a guy, or jerkin off a stranger at a party or getting gangbanged. this is why i hate this world. it ruined me
55ost status on facebook
-get no likes after 5 minutes
-having second thoughts
-delete status and word it differently so people might like it better
-post status again
-read it over and decide i dont like it
-delete it again
-spend several minutes rewording it and post it 1 more time
-get a comment 10 minutes later
-heart skips beat
-excited
-comment: "Why do you keep deleting and reposting this?"
-heart drops
-start to feel slightly nauseous
-start to type out reply explaining what happened
-realize I would sound like a phaggot
-throw up in bathroom
-come back to computer
-delete status again
-eventually I get an IM message from girl I used to have a crush on (but now has a BF) saying "stop spamming"
-get scared
-can't think of wtf I should say
-start typing something
-takes 2 minutes to write sentence
-realize she can see that im taking 2 minutes to write a sentence
-hands start sweating
-hand slips and accidentally hits enter
-cant delete and reword it
-then i throw up again
-came back to computer
-deleted facebook
-haven't been this depressed since high school
56:>Finally got girlfriend
>Girl i've been crushing on for years
>Shorter then me adorable in everyway
>We have sex regularly
>be together for many years
>trust her unconditionally
>one day sits me down for a talk
>has a sad look on her face
>she tells me she was raped a few weeks back
>she went to get a STD test and found out she was HIV positive
>we've had sex at least 4 times after
>she tells me now because she was scared of tellling me
>suddenly build up uncontrollable anger
>punch her in the face as hard as i can
>she falls down
>Still pissed off cant even see straight
>keep punching her as hard as i can
>gets to a point were her face is pool of blood
>blood splashes on shirt when i punch
>keep punching
>Leave, her parents come home after
>fast foward few weeks
>shes in a face bandage, stitches everywhere
>she told her parents a robber came in and did this
>suddenly feel terrible inside
>go to apologize three weeks later
>ask her sister where she is
>her sis has tears in her eyes, says shes in coma
>run to the hospital to say sorry before its too late
>Get to her home
>open the door
>get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur
57:-so i have to do presentation for class
-awkward as ****
-start working out
-not so awkward
-zyzz is my inspiration
-presentation again
-trembling
-just keep telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-get confident
-my turn
-i get up there
-start shaking uncontrollably
-start telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-teacher says I can start anytime
-I start off with "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-at this point I'm so nervous I blackout
-"i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-repeat at least 4 more times
-look around the room, people are saying "why does he keep saying that?"
-girls start laughing
-I pass out
-hit head on the corner of teacher's desk
-minor concussion
-teacher thinks I was on drugs
-classmates call my zeezprah
-nickname eventually turns into zebra
-i haven't heard my real name in months
-haven't been this depressed since high school
58:I've seen what getting jizzed on by a group of people does to a man, it is not pretty. I wasn't a part of it but when I was 12 or 13 I went to a sleep away summer camp and this is like when we were starting to discover porn and jacking off. Some kid brought some playboys and naked playing cards, sh*t like that with him. Anyway, one kid in our cabin was a huge tool, stole stuff like food and money from other people in our cabin. So half a dozen kids decided one night to wake up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m and take turns jacking off in the bathroom, running out before they finished and blowing their load on the kid when he was sleeping. Literally 6-8 kids did this, all over his face, sheets, upper body, and hands, one kid also did it in his shoes. So everyone else wakes up the next morning and we all knew what had happened but this kid couldn't figure out why he was all sticky for like 15 minutes until a counselor forced it out of a kid. When the kid found out he went absolutely nuts, like certifiably crazy mental breakdown. He had to leave the camp for psychiatric treatment, worst part was after he took a shower and went to leave he stepped in the jizz shoes and also like 6 of my friends I never saw again because they got kicked out.
59:gullible? LOL wat? "perceived nasa statement", those are clips from nasa themselves (the ones posted earlier) and what nasa statements? and those photos i post, all of them are actual places, locations on earth and things u can touch, they are palpable, they actually exist irl, i'm posting pictures of them cause its ON A COMPUTER. i can't lay the real **** on ur screen u idiot. which is why when i post a pic of something i mention that its "hard evidence" which translates into "it exists in location x on earth". "everything looks too good to be true", ITS ON UR COMPUTER SCREEN cause its a PHOTO but the PHOTO is of a REAL THING in a MUSEUM which exists IN REAL LIFE. i mean really dude? srsly? "this isn't real cause its photoshopped" even tho its exists irl which is where the photo came from. fail.
And you would know this how? What do you know about me? I'm self-employed. I work for no man because I'm not a retarded masochist like you are. I did not attend college. I have zero debt and positive cash flow. I live very comfortably and will be opening up my own business (PT) within a year. Don't believe me, I can post pics. I will have made my first million by the time you repay your school loans. And I will have achieved it with about 1/100th the effort that you put in. Congrats on being a total failure at life and choosing literally the worst possible career path available to you.
60:hey shawty. lemme holla at you right quick ya know what im sayin. checkin you out over there you lookin kinda good, ya know what im sayin. so i was wondering ya know how about you and me go back to the place, get comfortable, probably sip on some of this henney, you know what im sayin, and after that, you know what im... sayin, we can do the grownup and you can let me clap on dem cheeks, ya hear me?
61:lmagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.
That's what life is like to me.
I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.
62
uch a hideous ****ing beast. This is why the BB.com forums need spoiler tags, to hide this kind of **** unless anyone WANTS to view it (God forbid). Really though, that is one ****ed up mess of a woman. I'm conflicted about whether I should be disgusted by her, or feel bad for how uncannily grotesque she is. I think I'll choose the former.Look at that ****ing face. Look at it, but don't look too long or you will be unable to get an erection for the rest of your life. Notice how thick and chunky her cheeks are, like she dines primarily on deep fried sticks of butter. She has enough meat on her to feed all of Zimbabwe, but the starving people there would deny her because of how ****ing gross she is. I don't even want to say she resembles a pig, because I have respect for most animals. And by most I mean every animal except the fat one depicted in this photo, as she's certainly not human.
And strong fashion sense on her too. Not like that hoodie is hiding much though, considering how tiny and non existent her tits are. I won't say she's flat though, since her stomach fat rolls are everything but. I always knew most black dudes were into "thick" women, but this is beyond all reasoning. It's obviously not just the black guys though, considering how OP was dating her too. This chubby chasing mentality isn't limited to a single race, but just a few select people who were born lacking the "standards" gene.
63:"forced" to take my grandfather's M6 to school stop at the mcdonalds I used to work at manager i worked with sees me in the drive thru we hate each other she asks how did I obtain the car I ask for a hamburger, she gives me a hamburger I raise it to my lips and take a bite. My eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. She gives me a hamburger I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. I cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs a pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. She gives me a hamburger I look at her face, and she is pleading with me. The children are crying now I raise the hamburger to my lips, tears stream down my face as I take a bite she gives me a hamburger. I am on my knees.
I plead with her to go across the street. She hears only children's laughter she gives me a hamburger I am screaming as I fall down the stairs. She is my child. I cannot see anything I take a bite of the hamburger the concrete rushes up to meet me I awake with a start in my own bed. My eye twitches involuntarily she gives me a hamburger as I kill her, I do not make a sound she gives me a hamburger...
64:Ok so earlier today she said she was off to pee while were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspicious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!' she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the fuk up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a goddam log, bitch u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS UR POOP U WHORE, she screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. i told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with u u some kinda poop whore. and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesnt poop.
65:Awesome pics. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation.
67:would drag my dick through a mile of broken glass while being ****ed in the ass with a dildo just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie
68:are you aware that I am considering making another account (srs). This **** is getting to me, I mean, my reputation as a contributing poster on this forum/section has taken a hit. Has nothing to do with the rep power, but, I honestly try to help when people are (srs) and when it's a lulzy thread, I join in, but now when I comment, and have any input in any thread... there are a few miscers calling me this and that. It's pretty nasty stuff, I have manners in real life, and I control myself online, but others... shame brahs, you cuss every other person out like he isn't a person. (inb4 u mad, puzzy, etc)
69:yesterday when i was in the shower, i cupped my hands, and peed into them. i sat there holding 8 ounces of my own pee. i looked at it, felt its wamth, and then unclasped my hands as i watch the golden liquid flow down the drain. and i thought what if....what if i would have drank that pee?
70:Are you aware I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy
71:So I am 21 and my little sister is only 11. Anyways she gets in the shower and a little while later gets out and goes into her room to dress.
Like 3 seconds later she starts screaming and I am working out in my room doing my third rep of chest curls, so I have no shirt on. I immediatly drop my 50 lb weights and barge in and ask her what the fukc is wrong with her and she points up at the ceiling and its just a little stupid spider on the ceiling. Our ceiling is kind of high so I have to jump to get it. So i grab a magazine and jump up to swat it. and I hit it a little but it falls and lands right on my fukcing sisters head.
she immideatly drops her towel and starts swatting at her head screaming "GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF" I notice it crawling down her back and it is still alive I drop the magazine because it wasnt working so well and i grab her shoulder with one hand to get control of her because she is flailing around like a maniac and then I am swatting at it with my only other free hand. and just then my parents burst in and see her naked and me in just my aids shorts spanking her rearend while she is crying her ****ing guts out.
Most embarassing day of my life. I tried to explain to them i was like "guys oh no wait there was a spider there was spider and stuff". and my little sister was still crying her guts oout and my dad just exploded and told me to "get in your fukcing room immediatly you sick fukcing predator". It doesnt help that a couple months ago they found a pair of her undies on my floor. I dont know how they got there but probably were stuck in my pants after mom did laundry or something.
i really feel like killing myself right now.
72:I want to say something before this whole thing gets out of control. In 1967, in the hot desert sun, a woman gave birth to a boy in the back of old pick up. She was a whore. She left the boy at a local church. The father at the church didn't like children, but he knew that being a disciple of the bible he couldn't possibly not take the small kid. Instead he ended up taking out his frustration on the boy. At the age of three, the boy was forced to use the toilet. Let me tell you the little fell into his own pile of poop more than once. By the age of 5, the boy the boy was reading the bible and chopping wood for the fire. Despite the father's harsh character, the boy loved him and thought of him as his true father. By the age of seven the father raped him three times. The boy ran away. He survived four days in the desert by eating cactus and scorpions. He was finally found by a drug cartel boss, who took the boy in. Mr. Sanchez was his name, and he was immediately impressed by the boys intelligence and grown up attitude. Mr. Sanchez provided the boy with
RE: Pointless Advice - gamethan - 08-17-2013
you can use a straw on a soda can by rotating the tab ~180* and sticking the straw in the tab hole.
RE: Pointless Advice - Pascal123 - 08-17-2013
Any problem can be solved with the correct application of pressure to a stupid person's face.
RE: Pointless Advice - EvilLink - 08-17-2013
Don't click any ads on the internet. If you do, the next thing you know is that you cant click anymore ads. But you should know this already.
RE: Pointless Advice - MP29 - 08-18-2013
For Apple users:
1. Open window
2. Hold crapple out of window
3. Let go.
4. Your life is now complete.
RE: Pointless Advice - Blargh_14 - 08-18-2013
If you're thinking too hard about creating some pointless advice you're doing it wrong.