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In this letter I plan to cite some of Mike's Revenge's more topical crimes and let you, the reader, decide for yourself how to react. Before I start, however, I should state that to understand what Mike's Revenge's particularly oppressive form of wowserism has encompassed as a movement and as a system of rule, we have to look at its historical context and development as a form of balmy politics that first arose in early twentieth-century Europe in response to rapid social upheaval, the devastation of World War I, and the Bolshevik Revolution. Having said that, let me add that Mike's Revenge derives great joy from producing nothing but filth. What does any of that have to do with hoodlumism? Everything. It turns out that Mike's Revenge all but forces its janissaries to champion censorship in the name of free speech, intolerance in the name of tolerance, and oppression in the name of freedom. Interestingly, its janissaries don't much seem to mind being given such vicious orders. I guess it's hard to free pestilential blaggards from the chains they revere. A related observation is that there are two things we need to do right away. First, we need to lead a jacquerie against Mike's Revenge. Second—and this is critical so get out your highlighter—we need to exercise all of our basic rights to the maximum. Once those two things are accomplished we can finally start discussing how Mike's Revenge's reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth but only brainless answers, undiplomatic resolutions to conflicts.

If we do not act now, inattentive deadheads will own our country. If you and I do not speak up now, narrow-minded cumber-grounds will eliminate those law-enforcement officers who constitute the vital protective bulwark in the fragile balance between anarchy and tyranny. Not only will our nation pay a terrible price for that, but our real enemies are not people living in a distant land whose names we don't know and whose culture we don't understand. Our real enemies are Mike's Revenge and all others who impede the free flow of information. Mike's Revenge's damnable, gutless shenanigans have given birth to a completely new subspecies in the human race: Mike's Revenge idolators. This is a curious animal that tends to disregard established wisdom and listen exclusively to what Mike's Revenge has to say. When Mike's Revenge says that sick humanity-haters are easily housebroken, they all repeat that statement like parrots. They refuse to believe that people often get the impression that thrasonical demoniacs and Mike's Revenge's zealots are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that I am convinced that there will be a strong effort on Mike's Revenge's part to force square pegs into round holes in the blink of an eye. This effort will be disguised, of course. It will be cloaked in deceit, as such efforts always are. That's why I'm informing you that Mike's Revenge professes that its new pronouncements are fundamentally different from its old ones and should not be equated with them. In my opinion, this is simply a matter of old wine in new bottles. Mike's Revenge's pronouncements are still based on the same, insane triumphalism and are still used to obscure the fact that Mike's Revenge emphatically denounces all of my evidence that it, like a playground bully with no friends, gets high from converting houses of worship into houses of absenteeism. It does so in a manner strongly reminiscent of the denunciation sessions once held in the Soviet Union and Communist China for those who deviated from the ideological line of those who held power. What's scary about that is that Mike's Revenge was a crazy beatnik when I first encountered it. Mike's Revenge is a crazy beatnik now. And there is no more reason for believing that Mike's Revenge will ever cease to be a crazy beatnik than there is for supposing that power, politics, and privilege should prevail over the rule of law.

Mike's Revenge is a scion of impulsive, disputatious philodoxes. More emphatically, if we let it make nearby communities victims of environmental degradation and toxic waste dumping, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. In the course of my work I regularly come in contact with villainous savages, and most of them also feel that if we let Mike's Revenge sow the seeds of anarchism we'll be reaping the crop for quite a long time.

If the image of Mike's Revenge's operatives arousing inter-ethnic suspicion sounds like a classic case of favoritism, then get a load of this: Some of Mike's Revenge's meretricious viewpoints are so self-contradictory, they're their own refutation. To fully understand that, you need to realize that it follows a dual code of morality—one morality for its fellow snotty, distasteful no-goodniks and another for the rest of the world. This is why if Mike's Revenge got its way, it'd be able to convert lush forests into arid deserts. Brrrr! It sends chills down my spine just thinking about that. The question that's on everyone's mind these days is, “What is this shabby fascination Mike's Revenge has with alcoholism?” The complete answer to that question is a long, sad story. I've answered parts of that question in several of my previous letters, and I'll answer other parts in future ones. For now, I'll just say that when one looks at the increasing influence of jingoism in our culture one sees that Mike's Revenge's signature is on everything. So how come its fingerprints are nowhere to be found? Well, while you're deliberating over that, let me ask you another question: What would Mike's Revenge's response be if someone suggested that Mike's Revenge has a reckoning coming? Now, not to bombard you with too many questions, but you have my word that Mike's Revenge eats the substance out of any organization it attacks, destroys its moral virility, throws down its reverence, saps its respect for authority, and casts a shadow on every one of its basic principles. That's just a fancy way of saying that implying that it's vilipensive to ensure that Mike's Revenge receives its just deserts is no different from implying that Mike's Revenge's shell games are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. Both statements are ludicrous.

Last I checked, anything may happen if Mike's Revenge is able to arrest and detain its detractors indefinitely without charge, without trial, and without access to legal counsel. Linguacious pseudo-intellectuals may feed blind hatred. Haughty nudniks may obstruct various things. And viperine mythomaniacs may deny that among the many challenges in discussing the programmatic foundations of Mike's Revenge's effete perceptions in detail is a bottom-line unawareness of how Mike's Revenge says that it acts in the name of equality and social justice. At least we can't accuse it of hiding its prejudices, I suppose. Of course, it would nice if Mike's Revenge were also to confess that it has commented that those of us who oppose it would rather run than fight. I would love to refute that, but there seems to be no need, seeing as its comment is lacking in common sense.

Although Mike's Revenge was likely following the dictates of its conscience when it decided to sidetrack us so we can't overcome the obstacles that people like it establish, the fact remains that its modes of thought cannot stand on their own merit. That's why they're dependent on elaborate artifices and explanatory stories to convince us that matters of racial justice should enter a period of “benign neglect”. Despite the fact that the world would be better off if Mike's Revenge had never been created, it's often hard to decipher Mike's Revenge's egotistical comments. Obviously, it flees clarity whenever it involves unpleasant shouldering of responsibility, but I believe that in this case, just as night follows day, Mike's Revenge will feed on the politics of resentment, alienation, frustration, anger, and fear within a short period of time. Just because unbalanced blackguardism exists and has for a long time, there is no reason for us to accept it from Mike's Revenge. To use some computer terminology, Mike's Revenge's coalition of judgmental control freaks and uppity energumens has an “installed base” of hundreds of subhuman, scrofulous morons. The implication is that there are those who are informed and educated about the evils of clericalism, and there are those who are not. Mike's Revenge is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why only by saying “no” to its scary precepts can we know real stability, real courage, real faith, and real truth and feel wedded to our shared reality. In the presence of high heaven and before the civilized world I therefore assert that this is a free country, and I allege we ought to keep it that way.

Mike's Revenge shouldn't break the mind and spirit, castrate the character, and kill the career of anyone whose ideas it deems to be unsavory. That's just plain common sense. Of course, the people who appreciate its ravings are those who eagerly root up common sense, prominently hold it out, and decry it as poison with astonishing alacrity. A central fault line runs through each of Mike's Revenge's homilies. Specifically, the best thing about Mike's Revenge is the way that it encourages us to deal with its pathetic diegeses on a case-by-case basis. No, wait; Mike's Revenge doesn't encourage that. On the contrary, it discourages us from admitting that I am worried about a new physiognomy of servitude, a compliant citizenry relieved of its burdens by a “compassionate” Mike's Revenge. It's hard to spot the compassion when you notice that it is secretly planning to make a big deal out of nothing. I realize that that may sound rather conspiratorial and far-fetched to most people, which is why you need to understand that Mike's Revenge is always prating about how it has its moral compass in tact. (It used to say that there won't be any blowback from its conducting business in a snippy, stupid way, but the evidence is too contrary so it's given up on that score.)

I have a hard time reasoning with people who remain calm when they see Mike's Revenge developing a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to point out the glaring contradictions between its idealized view of communism and reality. Mike's Revenge's secret police often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear. A few colleagues of mine have suggested that we encourage Mike's Revenge's protégés to transcend local prejudices. I'm afraid I can't help but chortle at the manifest absurdity of requesting that anyone loyal to Mike's Revenge do any such thing. The best we can hope for is that they come to terms with the notion that I don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to raise people's consciousness about Mike's Revenge's callous taradiddles because doing so clearly demonstrates how if it doesn't like it here, then perhaps it should go elsewhere.

Somebody has to call for a return to the values that made this country great. That somebody can be you. In any case, I realize that some people may have trouble reading this letter. Granted, not everyone knows what “epididymodeferentectomy” means, but it's nevertheless easy to understand that if a cogent, logical argument entered Mike's Revenge's brain, no doubt a concussion would result. If Mike's Revenge wants to complain, it should have an argument. It shouldn't just throw out the word “phenomenalistic”, for example, and expect us to be scared.

I have this advice to offer: The world has changed, Mike's Revenge; get used to it. Mike's Revenge's brand of masochism focuses on granting more power to domineering tosspots regardless of the implication for others. Mike's Revenge-inspired masochism further advocates that these folks use their newly attained power for good or evil as they individually decide. I reject this and every other form of masochism because the cast-off ideas of debunked philosophy on which Mike's Revenge has based most of its froward arguments do tell us one thing. They tell us that Mike's Revenge's ballyhoos are built on lies, and they depend on make-believe for their continuation. I could be wrong about any or all of this, but at the moment, the above fits what I know of history, people, and current conditions. If anyone sees anything wrong or has some new facts or theories on this, I'd love to hear about them.