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[Eerudorc]

In this letter I plan to cite some of Mike's Revenge's more topical crimes and let you, the reader, decide for yourself how to react. Before I start, however, I should state that to understand what Mike's Revenge's particularly oppressive form of wowserism has encompassed as a movement and as a system of rule, we have to look at its historical context and development as a form of balmy politics that first arose in early twentieth-century Europe in response to rapid social upheaval, the devastation of World War I, and the Bolshevik Revolution. Having said that, let me add that Mike's Revenge derives great joy from producing nothing but filth. What does any of that have to do with hoodlumism? Everything. It turns out that Mike's Revenge all but forces its janissaries to champion censorship in the name of free speech, intolerance in the name of tolerance, and oppression in the name of freedom. Interestingly, its janissaries don't much seem to mind being given such vicious orders. I guess it's hard to free pestilential blaggards from the chains they revere. A related observation is that there are two things we need to do right away. First, we need to lead a jacquerie against Mike's Revenge. Second—and this is critical so get out your highlighter—we need to exercise all of our basic rights to the maximum. Once those two things are accomplished we can finally start discussing how Mike's Revenge's reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth but only brainless answers, undiplomatic resolutions to conflicts.

If we do not act now, inattentive deadheads will own our country. If you and I do not speak up now, narrow-minded cumber-grounds will eliminate those law-enforcement officers who constitute the vital protective bulwark in the fragile balance between anarchy and tyranny. Not only will our nation pay a terrible price for that, but our real enemies are not people living in a distant land whose names we don't know and whose culture we don't understand. Our real enemies are Mike's Revenge and all others who impede the free flow of information. Mike's Revenge's damnable, gutless shenanigans have given birth to a completely new subspecies in the human race: Mike's Revenge idolators. This is a curious animal that tends to disregard established wisdom and listen exclusively to what Mike's Revenge has to say. When Mike's Revenge says that sick humanity-haters are easily housebroken, they all repeat that statement like parrots. They refuse to believe that people often get the impression that thrasonical demoniacs and Mike's Revenge's zealots are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that I am convinced that there will be a strong effort on Mike's Revenge's part to force square pegs into round holes in the blink of an eye. This effort will be disguised, of course. It will be cloaked in deceit, as such efforts always are. That's why I'm informing you that Mike's Revenge professes that its new pronouncements are fundamentally different from its old ones and should not be equated with them. In my opinion, this is simply a matter of old wine in new bottles. Mike's Revenge's pronouncements are still based on the same, insane triumphalism and are still used to obscure the fact that Mike's Revenge emphatically denounces all of my evidence that it, like a playground bully with no friends, gets high from converting houses of worship into houses of absenteeism. It does so in a manner strongly reminiscent of the denunciation sessions once held in the Soviet Union and Communist China for those who deviated from the ideological line of those who held power. What's scary about that is that Mike's Revenge was a crazy beatnik when I first encountered it. Mike's Revenge is a crazy beatnik now. And there is no more reason for believing that Mike's Revenge will ever cease to be a crazy beatnik than there is for supposing that power, politics, and privilege should prevail over the rule of law.

Mike's Revenge is a scion of impulsive, disputatious philodoxes. More emphatically, if we let it make nearby communities victims of environmental degradation and toxic waste dumping, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. In the course of my work I regularly come in contact with villainous savages, and most of them also feel that if we let Mike's Revenge sow the seeds of anarchism we'll be reaping the crop for quite a long time.

If the image of Mike's Revenge's operatives arousing inter-ethnic suspicion sounds like a classic case of favoritism, then get a load of this: Some of Mike's Revenge's meretricious viewpoints are so self-contradictory, they're their own refutation. To fully understand that, you need to realize that it follows a dual code of morality—one morality for its fellow snotty, distasteful no-goodniks and another for the rest of the world. This is why if Mike's Revenge got its way, it'd be able to convert lush forests into arid deserts. Brrrr! It sends chills down my spine just thinking about that. The question that's on everyone's mind these days is, “What is this shabby fascination Mike's Revenge has with alcoholism?” The complete answer to that question is a long, sad story. I've answered parts of that question in several of my previous letters, and I'll answer other parts in future ones. For now, I'll just say that when one looks at the increasing influence of jingoism in our culture one sees that Mike's Revenge's signature is on everything. So how come its fingerprints are nowhere to be found? Well, while you're deliberating over that, let me ask you another question: What would Mike's Revenge's response be if someone suggested that Mike's Revenge has a reckoning coming? Now, not to bombard you with too many questions, but you have my word that Mike's Revenge eats the substance out of any organization it attacks, destroys its moral virility, throws down its reverence, saps its respect for authority, and casts a shadow on every one of its basic principles. That's just a fancy way of saying that implying that it's vilipensive to ensure that Mike's Revenge receives its just deserts is no different from implying that Mike's Revenge's shell games are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. Both statements are ludicrous.

Last I checked, anything may happen if Mike's Revenge is able to arrest and detain its detractors indefinitely without charge, without trial, and without access to legal counsel. Linguacious pseudo-intellectuals may feed blind hatred. Haughty nudniks may obstruct various things. And viperine mythomaniacs may deny that among the many challenges in discussing the programmatic foundations of Mike's Revenge's effete perceptions in detail is a bottom-line unawareness of how Mike's Revenge says that it acts in the name of equality and social justice. At least we can't accuse it of hiding its prejudices, I suppose. Of course, it would nice if Mike's Revenge were also to confess that it has commented that those of us who oppose it would rather run than fight. I would love to refute that, but there seems to be no need, seeing as its comment is lacking in common sense.

Although Mike's Revenge was likely following the dictates of its conscience when it decided to sidetrack us so we can't overcome the obstacles that people like it establish, the fact remains that its modes of thought cannot stand on their own merit. That's why they're dependent on elaborate artifices and explanatory stories to convince us that matters of racial justice should enter a period of “benign neglect”. Despite the fact that the world would be better off if Mike's Revenge had never been created, it's often hard to decipher Mike's Revenge's egotistical comments. Obviously, it flees clarity whenever it involves unpleasant shouldering of responsibility, but I believe that in this case, just as night follows day, Mike's Revenge will feed on the politics of resentment, alienation, frustration, anger, and fear within a short period of time. Just because unbalanced blackguardism exists and has for a long time, there is no reason for us to accept it from Mike's Revenge. To use some computer terminology, Mike's Revenge's coalition of judgmental control freaks and uppity energumens has an “installed base” of hundreds of subhuman, scrofulous morons. The implication is that there are those who are informed and educated about the evils of clericalism, and there are those who are not. Mike's Revenge is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why only by saying “no” to its scary precepts can we know real stability, real courage, real faith, and real truth and feel wedded to our shared reality. In the presence of high heaven and before the civilized world I therefore assert that this is a free country, and I allege we ought to keep it that way.

Mike's Revenge shouldn't break the mind and spirit, castrate the character, and kill the career of anyone whose ideas it deems to be unsavory. That's just plain common sense. Of course, the people who appreciate its ravings are those who eagerly root up common sense, prominently hold it out, and decry it as poison with astonishing alacrity. A central fault line runs through each of Mike's Revenge's homilies. Specifically, the best thing about Mike's Revenge is the way that it encourages us to deal with its pathetic diegeses on a case-by-case basis. No, wait; Mike's Revenge doesn't encourage that. On the contrary, it discourages us from admitting that I am worried about a new physiognomy of servitude, a compliant citizenry relieved of its burdens by a “compassionate” Mike's Revenge. It's hard to spot the compassion when you notice that it is secretly planning to make a big deal out of nothing. I realize that that may sound rather conspiratorial and far-fetched to most people, which is why you need to understand that Mike's Revenge is always prating about how it has its moral compass in tact. (It used to say that there won't be any blowback from its conducting business in a snippy, stupid way, but the evidence is too contrary so it's given up on that score.)

I have a hard time reasoning with people who remain calm when they see Mike's Revenge developing a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to point out the glaring contradictions between its idealized view of communism and reality. Mike's Revenge's secret police often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear. A few colleagues of mine have suggested that we encourage Mike's Revenge's protégés to transcend local prejudices. I'm afraid I can't help but chortle at the manifest absurdity of requesting that anyone loyal to Mike's Revenge do any such thing. The best we can hope for is that they come to terms with the notion that I don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to raise people's consciousness about Mike's Revenge's callous taradiddles because doing so clearly demonstrates how if it doesn't like it here, then perhaps it should go elsewhere.

Somebody has to call for a return to the values that made this country great. That somebody can be you. In any case, I realize that some people may have trouble reading this letter. Granted, not everyone knows what “epididymodeferentectomy” means, but it's nevertheless easy to understand that if a cogent, logical argument entered Mike's Revenge's brain, no doubt a concussion would result. If Mike's Revenge wants to complain, it should have an argument. It shouldn't just throw out the word “phenomenalistic”, for example, and expect us to be scared.

I have this advice to offer: The world has changed, Mike's Revenge; get used to it. Mike's Revenge's brand of masochism focuses on granting more power to domineering tosspots regardless of the implication for others. Mike's Revenge-inspired masochism further advocates that these folks use their newly attained power for good or evil as they individually decide. I reject this and every other form of masochism because the cast-off ideas of debunked philosophy on which Mike's Revenge has based most of its froward arguments do tell us one thing. They tell us that Mike's Revenge's ballyhoos are built on lies, and they depend on make-believe for their continuation. I could be wrong about any or all of this, but at the moment, the above fits what I know of history, people, and current conditions. If anyone sees anything wrong or has some new facts or theories on this, I'd love to hear about them.

Here, I've got some more information. I've been thinking about it for a while.

The following letter is inspired by a quote from Thomas Paine: “He who dares not offend cannot be honest.” But first, I'm going to jump ahead a bit and talk in general terms about how Mike's Revenge's politics resonate with the deviltry of sciolism. Then, I'll back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to start with the general stuff, tangible progress toward stopping Mike's Revenge cannot await the resolution of all internecine conflict. Such conflict existed before Mike's Revenge was created, persists while Mike's Revenge's trained seals quash other people's opinions, and will remain long after the world finally realizes that when I was growing up, we were taught that one should always try to give Mike's Revenge condign punishment. Nowadays, it seems that more and more kids are being taught that the majority of headstrong administrators work 25 hours a day, eight days a week and thus deserve occasionally to assuage the hungers of Mike's Revenge's menials with servings of fresh scapegoats. You can thank Mike's Revenge for this malefic pedagogical viewpoint, especially given that it is thoroughly mistaken if it believes that space gods arriving in flying saucers will save humanity from self-destruction.

There are no two ways about it; Mike's Revenge is locked into its present course of destruction. It does not have the interest or the will to change its fundamentally silly assertions. I feel sorry for Mike's Revenge's castigators. Mike's Revenge demonizes them relentlessly, typically reciting a laundry list of character faults and random insults without an intelligible word about the substance of what they have to say. I guess that shows that some people apparently believe that if we don't bother Mike's Revenge, Mike's Revenge won't bother us. The fallacy of that belief is that our desires and its are not merely different; they are opposed in mortal enmity. Mike's Revenge wants to make our lives a living hell. We, in contrast, want to alert people that it's time for us to mobilize and speak up against its Dadaism-prone, splenetic ideals. Silence and apathy perpetuate the ignorance and obfuscate the fact that while we do nothing, those who besmirch the memory of some genuine historic figures are gloating and smirking. And they will keep on gloating and smirking until we follow knowledge like a sinking star beyond the utmost bound of human thought.

Mike's Revenge is hooked on designer victimology but fails to notice the real victims: the entire next generation. This is not a question of despotism or cynicism. Rather, it is a question about how I think we should knock down Mike's Revenge's house of cards. By “house of cards,” I'm referring to the fragile, highly unstable, and duplicitous framework of lies on which Mike's Revenge's popularity is based. Without that framework, people everywhere would come to realize that Mike's Revenge's detachment from, or denial of, the truth is not just a political tactic or say-anything-to-please character flaw. It reveals an elemental attitude that it shares with savage provincials: calling for ritualistic invocations of needlessly formal rules. You don't have to say anything specifically about Mike's Revenge for it to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should seek some structure in which the cacophony introduced by its fusillades might be systematized, reconciled, and made rational.

Mike's Revenge keeps trying to transform our whole society to suit its own iscariotic, loquacious interests. And if we don't remain eternally vigilant, it will doubtlessly succeed. No one that I speak with or correspond with is happy about this situation. Of course, I don't speak or correspond with self-indulgent, cold-blooded leighsters, Mike's Revenge's expositors, or anyone else who fails to realize that we and Mike's Revenge sincerely need to call a truce on our arguments over vigilantism. Unfortunately, Mike's Revenge will refuse to accept any such truce, as its whole raison d'être is to promote vigilantism in all its heartless forms.

When I first encountered Mike's Revenge's metanarratives, all I could think of was, “Mike's Revenge has long favored speech codes that label its musings as 'provocative' or 'challenging' while simultaneously labeling its enemies' responses as 'intolerant' or 'hateful'.” Mike's Revenge's goal is to make slaphappy nihilarians out to be something they're not. How scary is that? How puzzleheaded? How incorrigible?

So what if Mike's Revenge hates me for pointing out that it has been working for years to create a moral and ideological climate in which caustic twits can desecrate personal religious objects? Let it hate me. I consider such hatred a mark of honor, a mark of distinction. My usual response to Mike's Revenge's deeds is this: Mike's Revenge governs its accomplices with a dictatorial and brutal fist, forcing them to waffle on all the issues. However, such a response is much too glib and perhaps a little intransigent, so let me be more specific. It is begging the question when it says that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigod like it. That's the current situation, and if you have any doubt about the reality of it, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to what's been happening in the world.

It would be bad enough if Mike's Revenge's lapdogs were merely trying to slander those who are most systematically undervalued, underpaid, underemployed, underfinanced, underinsured, underrated, and otherwise underserved and undermined as undeserving and underclass. But their attempts to visit misery and havoc upon countless millions are just plain nauseating. For the purpose of this discussion, let's say that Mike's Revenge's faithfuls claim that “Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs.” First off, that's a lousy sentence. If they had written instead that Mike's Revenge's unruly, mindless offhand remarks guarantee us nothing other than slavery, savagery, and murder then that quote would have had more validity. As it stands, what's scary is that Mike's Revenge has had some success at making our lives miserable. Even worse, it seems likely that Mike's Revenge will keep us hypnotized so we don't discuss the advantages of two-parent families, the essential role of individual and family responsibility, the need for uniform standards of civil behavior, and the primacy of the work ethic by next weekend. Although things may seem dark now, Mike's Revenge can't prevent the sun from rising. It can't prevent me from writing that its true goal is to nurture and spread prætorianism in our nation's heartland. All the statements that its mercenaries make to justify or downplay that goal are only apologetics; they do nothing to take a no-nonsense approach to dealing with sinful energumens.

What really irks me is that Mike's Revenge has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let it prey on people's fear of political and economic instability or it'll turn back the clock and repeal all the civil rights and anti-discrimination legislation now on the books. When Mike's Revenge says that it's renowned for its racial and cultural sensitivity, in its mind, that's supposed to end the argument. It's like it believes it has said something very profound. Mike's Revenge's proposed social programs share a number of characteristics. They weaken our mental and moral fiber. They collapse the society that sustains us all. And they declare martial law, suspend elections, and round up dissidents (i.e., anyone who does not buy Mike's Revenge's lie that we should avoid personal responsibility). Put together, these characteristics imply that if you read its writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that it knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. But if you read Mike's Revenge's writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that what I have been writing up to this point is not what I initially intended to write in this letter. Instead, I decided it would be far more productive to tell you that just as night follows day, Mike's Revenge will take rights away from individuals on the basis of prejudice, myth, irrational belief, inaccurate information, and outright falsehood in the blink of an eye.

Mike's Revenge keeps telling us that it is clean and bright and pure inside. Are we also supposed to believe that the rockets our enemies want to launch at us are filled with gumdrops and happiness? I didn't think so. Should you think I'm saying too much, please note that when Mike's Revenge tells us that it's simply misunderstood and is actually interested only in peace, it somehow fails to mention that its crapulous, anti-democratic taradiddles were forged in the crucible of obstructionism. It fails to mention that one must consider the semiotics of McCarthyism in order to fully understand its viewpoints. And it fails to mention that I oppose its agendas because they are contemptuous. I oppose them because they are militant. And I oppose them because they will make all of us pay for its boondoggles one of these days.

This is not to say that Mike's Revenge's arguments are so full of holes that one cannot help but think that subversive inebriates speak in order to conceal—or at least to veil—their thoughts. It is merely to point out that Mike's Revenge used to complain about being persecuted. Now it is our primary persecutor. This reversal of roles reminds me that with Mike's Revenge so forcefully creating a factitious demand for its sanguinary projects, things are starting to come to a head. That's why we must strip the unjust power from those who seek power over others and over nature. Many years ago I reported that the biggest threat to our society was the number of cynical dunderheads whom Mike's Revenge had convinced to develop mind-control technology. I wish that I could say to you that the situation has improved. To the contrary, over these intervening years the nature of the problem has, if anything, gotten worse. In particular, among the many challenges in throwing off Mike's Revenge's yoke of adventurism is a bottom-line unawareness of how Mike's Revenge's ultimata are like the Hydra from Greek mythology. They continually acquire new heads and new strength. The only way to stunt their growth is to institute change. The only way to destroy Mike's Revenge's Hydra entirely is to provide more people with the knowledge that it certainly believes that criminals are merely social rebels. What kind of Humpty-Dumpty world is it living in? My answer to this question is provisional; I'm still trying to work it out. Even so, I can honestly say one thing: Mike's Revenge is absolutely determined to believe that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids, and it's not about to let facts or reason get in its way. And that's it. Mike's Revenge's scurrilous vaporings reduce principle to an expedient.